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i lost God at pickerel lake

from agnosticism ii by (the)imperfectionist

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about

made thirteen-point-eight-billion years ago, they can't even state a fact. i threw years away being a young-earther too though.

lyrics

i’ll build the house right before your eyes
so you can see it’s built on sand
you told me to put no God before you
you were Everything to me

don’t you see that the cornerstone is now the rejected stone?
and you groan like rocks screaming your own praises

you are not here, not in the dark, not in the light
your domain has shrunk past nature, politics, government and
all that remains is pride, jealousy
you used to control the laws we make
now the ones who worship you decapitate, americans
or wage Holy wars against activists
opening fire on unarmed protests
or wear their white hoods and, procreate to form a master race of a "legitimate" people
claiming their fathers are the ones who founded this land made thirteen-point-eight…

it’s all fucked up you don’t understand
i’m a broken man
used to believe in Divine plans

now there’s only
man
he makes the object of worship out of his own hands

oh Lovely
oh Lover
won’t you see what you’ve done to me?

i held no other Gods before you
you were Everything
Universe-Creator, Lover, interceder, you lived in my heart

now i die without your Spirit
i’m still waiting on the Savior who can resurrect the dead
but it’s all dissonance, cognitive

who hurt you
proud, jealous being who has preferences how i live my life?

your domain’s not over nature, just romance and now i call you family
i invited you in my home, my temple, my body

like you have been cheated on i’ve been jilted by an absent God

and i feel like i could do better than what i had
i’ve been wronged i’ll do right by my own Testament Torah and my Quran
i don’t need your indirect words your metaphors i have my experience; and i’ll find a way to get back to you back to these Holy words these Scriptures i must burn; but for now i must go down to the river to pray to a God i don’t know exists while i’m in this much pain

i learned to meditate and just live, quiet
but i can’t get off these long songs i channel my Divine Spirit
no disconnect between heart, brain, body
straight from my heart straight from my mouth i speak
not representing a little version of Christ unseen
now it’s just me

i still Love you, my God & Goddess natalie

credits

from agnosticism ii, track released March 10, 2021
titled off sufjan's 'oh God where are you now? (in pickerel lake? pigeon? marquette? mackinaw?)' and length'd after father john misty's 'leaving la'.

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imperfectionist Seattle, Washington

inward and outward, breaths ripple like waves across the surface of an ocean, from the origin point, YHWH.

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