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1. |
foster the feeling
04:07
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i need to find my way out now
there’s just this path laden with traps and snares, bears and, bees
i’m waiting on the
star to
guide me home
this is not my beautiful house
you aren’t my beautiful wife
this is a story i told myself to keep me warm at night
there isn’t you and me there’s only us and now it’s codependence
i’m stealing all the songs i’ve ever learned to make something new
and i am stealing your heart to find my own Truth
it’s unfair to you i wish i could make you whole
but i’m not the savior you need the Savior you deserve will make you, safe
i’m just rejected like, a stumbling block of failure on your way
you’ll make it out you’ll be oh, okay
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2. |
inertia
05:58
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sir issac newton smashing into albert einstein at a thousand-thousand times the speed of light
i don’t know my times, times tables
and the face of the clock keeps melting on the floor
don't ask me don’t ask me how the seasons change
i am not smart
then the fire came
and burnt down
the forest
uh-uh-uh-uh-upwind
i, i, i, i, i don’t think i could be a father
I don’t know, how i could be co-Creator
but i have some notes for the manufacturer
of our "designed” planet
i don’t think there’s an emphasis enough on the art
just a bunch of Goddam meaningless shapes
pythagoras would look at us and be dismayed
what a gross example of a rectangle
i’m surrounded on all sides by useless people not in control of their bodies or impulses
i don’t know why these meat towers demand control of everyone
just let me bake in the sun
i used to do what i want then i turned six and went to school
i’ve been ruled by institutions, economics ever since
there’s only anxious people
worried about how they’ll die
maybe their consciousness was a mistake
but now it’s here we must reconcile our desires what have, with what has, with water that’s been set in motion
motion
i thought i could heal you with one long-ass song
the obvious thing the obvious rhyme is…
i was wrong
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3. |
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my guitar’s outta tune and so
so is my life
you don’t have to hold my hand
just don’t cause me strife
ooh, ooh, ooh
i don’t know what sounds i’ll make
just don’t take, take, take
mm, don’t be God to me
ooh, don’t let me see
all of you that there is to see
i’ve been selfish i’ve been a child
didn’t take your feelings as serious as mine
now there’s a price to pay
and i’ve been servin’ my sentence with good behavior
and i thought you could appreciate that
but you’re still angry and funny enough i resent that
i been waiting on Time to heal your wound
you been cheated on
abandoned
broken up
i’m still waiting on
Time to heal your wounds
and i’m still waiting on someone
to walk into my bedroom
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4. |
earnest adolescence lost
06:24
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i don’t know what to do, i’m broken, i’m fucked up
in my arms and legs and arms and legs and
i cannot stand, i’m waiting on your sister to leave
so i can devastate your heart
i am dangerous like a teenager
don’t trust me, i will let you down
i’ll let you down
i had a dream about you
do you wanna hear?
it was beautiful and profane
just like me just like you or my projection of
my projection o-uh-uh-uh-of you
ohh, what’s the deal with, what’s the deal with
what’s the deal with Love?
i don’t know how to deal with, i don’t know what’s the deal
just tell me the deal, i’ll make it the real deal my man, make it the real deal
and i am waiting on a sign from God
to let me say what i feel
it’s selfish i know, it’s selfish but i
wanna be True—for the first Time
i wanted to ease my mind
when i texted you “can we talk again?”
don’t be a stranger, don’t be a stranger, don’t just be a fucking stranger i met through
who’s no longer a friend
let’s be friends not enemies i said
you don’t want that well fuck you jus’ kidding but kind of though
no sympathy for the devil who says Love is a choice
not blind devotion
when this song was about a sexy danger it was shorter but now i’m OH-OH-OLDER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER
i don’t know who this song is to or for or for or for it’s for me maybe
i don’t know, i’m lost in the dark, I’m lost in my lonely be-ee-ee-edroom
i know it’s just three chords but
i
like
you
i like you, don’t be a stranger, be my friend, be something more i don’t know i don’t know
i don’t know you i guess
but i know myself i know what i want i want to talk
talk to me talk to me, talk to me talk to me, talk to me talk to me, talk to me talk
...jus’ talk back...
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5. |
fallout
05:15
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shadows fall like raindrops
on my parade
this power is turning
back to the grave
my friend died today
few years back
his body and brains
loss, loss, loss, decay
there’s only the moment
there’s nothing left
there’s jus' this empty
empty empty empty
body
i need a Savior who can
resurrect the dead
resurrect the dead
i don’t need a magician who can do Miracles when no one’s watching
no one’s watching
i want my friend to live again or be Somewhere Else
now i’m writing alone when i could be
in Heaven too
don’t put your treasure up in sights unseen
it’s all a dream
it doesn’t make sense
there’s no logic to this world
it’s all beautiful nonsense
i can’t get out of my head
when i think about hayden
or harris i feel bad
but then i look in the mirror
and i see that old familiar face
looking back at me
i still like to go online
look at your profile
it’s all consciousness
and you never really die as long as someone keeps
the memories of you alive
oh i hold you in my
hold you in my
hold you in mind
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6. |
life left to live
05:58
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i’m jus' gonna let it breathe
i don’t wanna be the source of pain
i’m jus' gonna let you be bereaved
i don’t wanna be the source of your, negative feelings
but here i am ready to make a stand
for my own health, sanity and life
i jus' wanna be Perfect finally
i jus' wanna find Peace
i didn’t do it in another’s arms
i didn’t do dishonest things, i just caused harm
i’m fallible you will recall
i am weak and human after all
i just want to not cry when i think of all the Love we had
i wish you had wrote me back
i wish you hadn’t thought we’d find a path to get back on track
i wish you hadn’t let go completely
i wish we could talk it out, you could help me do some healing
i wish i could let go of these memories
i cannot fit them into a coherent narrative
and i wish i could not see your floating head
i wish i could not struggle to sleep, sometimes i wish i, were...
but then the rational part of my brain says i have much too much life to freely live
left to live, left to live, i left to live
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7. |
Perfect ex
03:46
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i practiced somethin' new
i gave it my all
i wanted to show you
but you can’t hear me at all
there’s this picture of you
i see in my phone
i’m waiting to know
if i did you right or wrong
i think i know the answer
but reply my girl
don’t leave me high & dry
let me hear the Truth
we never made music
was i bad teacher?
was i like my dad?
was i something evil, crooked, bad?
i wanna be your Perfect ex
scott pilgrim four-and-one-half
but i’ll be the guy who you tell your next
about and laugh and laugh
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8. |
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i’ll build the house right before your eyes
so you can see it’s built on sand
you told me to put no God before you
you were Everything to me
don’t you see that the cornerstone is now the rejected stone?
and you groan like rocks screaming your own praises
you are not here, not in the dark, not in the light
your domain has shrunk past nature, politics, government and
all that remains is pride, jealousy
you used to control the laws we make
now the ones who worship you decapitate, americans
or wage Holy wars against activists
opening fire on unarmed protests
or wear their white hoods and, procreate to form a master race of a "legitimate" people
claiming their fathers are the ones who founded this land made thirteen-point-eight…
it’s all fucked up you don’t understand
i’m a broken man
used to believe in Divine plans
now there’s only
man
he makes the object of worship out of his own hands
oh Lovely
oh Lover
won’t you see what you’ve done to me?
i held no other Gods before you
you were Everything
Universe-Creator, Lover, interceder, you lived in my heart
now i die without your Spirit
i’m still waiting on the Savior who can resurrect the dead
but it’s all dissonance, cognitive
who hurt you
proud, jealous being who has preferences how i live my life?
your domain’s not over nature, just romance and now i call you family
i invited you in my home, my temple, my body
like you have been cheated on i’ve been jilted by an absent God
and i feel like i could do better than what i had
i’ve been wronged i’ll do right by my own Testament Torah and my Quran
i don’t need your indirect words your metaphors i have my experience; and i’ll find a way to get back to you back to these Holy words these Scriptures i must burn; but for now i must go down to the river to pray to a God i don’t know exists while i’m in this much pain
i learned to meditate and just live, quiet
but i can’t get off these long songs i channel my Divine Spirit
no disconnect between heart, brain, body
straight from my heart straight from my mouth i speak
not representing a little version of Christ unseen
now it’s just me
i still Love you, my God & Goddess natalie
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9. |
chest cavity
03:58
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i’m still listening to sad songs
but now i hear them
i used to be happy
because someone else was in the room
but now i’m all alone for real now
not just missin’ you
and i wanna know “do you think
of me too?”
ease my selfish conscience
erase my memories
oh God of Time
let me go back to where i could just be happy
i don’t wanna be a man who’s busy holding on his chest
i don’t want to have this solar plexus
open and letting light in ye-eh-et
eh-et
eh-et
so let me jus’ be sad
let me just go
let me go away
let me go away
i’m workin’ it out
hadn’t had sleep in a minute
i’m working it out
deal with the devil
working it out
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10. |
victimizing victim
04:05
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i’ve been so perplexed, angular, and undressed
waiting on an answer
so won’t you show me your naked body stranger?
i been lookin’ out for someone new
and there’s only this murderous feeling
rattling in my ribcage
if i could kill what i was
if i could kill what was there
if i could be something new
maybe i could forget you
maybe i could forgive you
so i’ve been unlikable lately as an experiment
oh honey you’re not so sweet like you were
yeah i’m a monster i like to face horror, duality, duality
duality
do me
do me soft and sweet stranger
now i’ve been lonely and ungrateful
unfaithful with my unsafe feelings
i’ve been emotionally cheating
i’ve been confused, angular, and abusive, and abused
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11. |
gone girl
05:18
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you don’t know what you have until it’s gone
take off your mask
hold it in front
i don’t know where to go what i wanted
i just hold on
don’t be far from me now
i just need to take some Time to freak out
i need someone new to talk through
i just need someone new to project onto
i think that could be yo-ooh-ou
all i have is you
all i have to talk to
i made a mess i wrecked my car
i been getting drunk and high
to blow off steam
there’s just so many things wrong
i been lookin’ out for number one
i been tryin' out wasted rhymes
i’ve been wasting everyone’s Time
i’m lookin’ to get back to where i was
i wasted her Time well you wasted mine
i’m not here at all
i’m not ready to give up
i’m just waiting on the clock
to tell me it’s Time to
give up
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12. |
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rumor is i had
sex with priscilla
rumor is that i’m
a dick and i told my friends
that i’d see them
in hell i am
repeating old patterns built
into the palm of my hand
don’t be mad i am
jus’ ready to grow oh-oh-older
without you
i've been burned by
unsafe people
middle schoolers
and now i am realizing everyone
is my peer and i have no authorities to fear
i am waiting i am waiting to find
my place in history
i am waiting on my place to reveal itself to me
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13. |
maximalism
05:26
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back to what’s familiar i ran
i fell back into my Lover’s arms
i found a woman to Love
i found a light source i could be proud of
and now i’m angry and confused
there’s no sense to be made in this crooked planet, pathetic dirt-ridden world
i thought you were the light
i thought you could be mine
i thought this could be Perfect
i thought you said we could talk it all through
but there’s jus' somethin' wrong
with you.
now i found out you were untrue, untrue
i found out i lied to you
and now we dance with our projections in our Platonic cave
i’m waiting on a sign to tell me you’re okay
toxic memories come to me in my dreams
i thought i’d be okay that i’d make something great
i felt in my wrong head i’d end up dead before the age of twenty-five
there’s just this map i’ve made and you should tell me if you think it’s alright
i wrote it out i wrote it down i wrote it all away
you felt it, i saw the news wash over your face
don’t be mad, just write me back, write me back and say you’re okay
write me back, write me back, promise me you’re okay
i’m stuck in a loop i. can’t. break.
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14. |
seek & you will find
04:08
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sometime i’ll do the work and be less critical
but right now Everything feels out of tune
out of wack
wack at best
i’ve been lookin’ for a companion
been lookin’ for meaningless
unimportant sexual encounters
ooh, ooh don’t look at me like that
i’m not that kind of girl
i’m not here to reduce you to just a pretty body
but i am here to explore my own identity
don’t resent me
i couldn’t handle that
oh my masculine fragility
i’m crying into a microphone for crying out loud
i’ve gamified my attraction to women
i’ve commodified these pleasant human interactions, transactions
oh don’t resent me please i
jus' wanna look into your eyes
and see some light
i just need someone when
comes the sunrise
i jus' need a hand to hold sometimes
when all Everything outside
comes to overwhelm
will you be there, you be there, you’ll be there, who are you?
how will i find you? seek me out
just another face in the crowd
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imperfectionist Seattle, Washington
inward and outward, breaths ripple like waves across the surface of an ocean, from the origin point, YHWH.
imperfectionist recommends:
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Sales has high fidelity lo-fi stripped down simple songs with complex interweaving melodies. Previous albums had brisk fully fleshed-out sketches. Forever & Ever is a 10-track mainstream masterpiece.
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